I’m a Politician
I’m officially a candidate for the 3rd District
of the Granite Utah Community Council.
If you look for Granite on a list of Utah cities, you won’t find
it. It’s an unincorporated township in Salt
Lake County. Granite is located near the
mouth of Little Cottonwood Canyon and was settled around the granite quarry
where the stone for the LDS Salt Lake Temple was extracted.
How I Got Here
I became a politician on the same day I became a Snowboard
Instructor – another thing I never dreamed I’d be doing. The story goes like this…
On the 4th of July, Jenn and I went to the
community pancake breakfast and parade – a parade that consists mainly of kids
on bikes with some police motorcycles and some fire trucks mixed in to generate
noise. It’s a lot of fun! At the breakfast we met Mary, a lady sitting
at a table signing people up for her Community email list and also selling
reflective house number signs since Granite’s boundaries and streets are a
little irregular and houses can be hard to locate – even Google maps has it
wrong. Anyway, I ordered a sign and got
on the email list. Two weeks ago the
sign came in and so I went to pick it up.
At the door Mary asked where I live.
And I replied, “3210” thinking it an odd question since she was holding
a sign that said “3210”. Unknown to me
she wanted to know which street, as she was looking for people to run for the
council. She asked if I’d ever considered running for
the council. Since I’d been reading the
emails, I considered myself “involved” and I told her, “I think it might be fun
once I’m a little more established in the community.” Five minutes later I was
signing my intent to run form.
Party Affiliation
This is not a party affiliated race which is good because I
don’t trust any of those bums. But if I
had to declare my affiliation I’d say I’m a RepubliCrat.
The symbol is the head of a big slow elephant and a donkey’s…….posterior
section.
Platform
I considered running on the same platform as the kid who ran
for president of my elementary school – “To put Coke in all the drinking
fountains” I see now, however, that
there are no drinking fountains in the community. My platform then will be: “Let’s just see
what happens”
Campaign
Earlier this week I made a political sign and a
commercial which featured me, holding
the sign. My delivery channel is
Facebook and just last night it was shared by Mandi, someone who until then, was not
even my friend. So I’m viral. It’s a virus with a low infection rate. Like something that can only be passed by
sticking your pinky toe in someone else’s ear while traveling on a moving,
crowded city bus…..in winter……under a full moon.
I also forwarded a link to my commercial back to Mary and
Council HQ. She Forwarded it on to the
rest of the council AND the local candidates for the Utah State Legislature –
presumably so they could learn effective campaigning from a pro. It also went to all the people on her email
list. So I’m out there!
Voting
Though you have to live in Granite to vote for
me, if you come out to the polling location on November 4 – a little booth outside the
regular polling location at the church on 3100 East and about 9800 South, I’ll
kiss your hand and shake your baby. I’m
also planning on being at Barnes & Noble at a receipt signing - I don’t
have a book, but I’ll sign your receipt if you buy someone else’s book (Jenn’s
idea, and a darn good one).
The inaugural celebration is still in the planning stage,
but we have a few days.
No comments:
Post a Comment